Pictures: EAZGL Part 4

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Ellie finds out that Zu and DJ has gone missing... What will she do?
Read and find out!

Rating: 4.6
Votes: 10
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Posted 29th of June 2011 - 08:39 | Download full version
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dragon soul wrote:
If you want casual and natural German, I can help as well.
I'll keep that in mind. Thanks! I have a very very rudimentary knowledge of German, but not enough for conversation, I'm afraid. If I really concentrate I can struggle through reading it, though.
If you want casual and natural German, I can help as well.
Trollface wrote:
Guodzilla wrote:
Trollface wrote:
Guodzilla wrote:
Trollface wrote:
To be honest, I didn't like this part.
I mean, 10 pages of rape!?
I guess you meant the nightmare/hallucination sequence . . . The first draft was very brief and pretty run-of-the-mill, and kind of boring (if you could believe that) so RC and I agreed that I should rewrite it and "Beef it up" a little more. What I've been trying hardest to do is avoid cliche' and overdone sex scenes. If you remember the Nikki/Justin sex scene, THAT one was once MUCH bigger (about the same length: 10 pages), but it was a lot of the "same-old, same-old" kind of sex scenes (even though it was straight-shota) that you would find elsewhere (RC and I agreed that it read kind of like a Hentai Manga. Not that that was essentially a BAD thing, it's just that it was unoriginal) and really made the story drag even more than the nightmare scene.
I guess I was trying to go more of a "Lovecraftian" route with it and got carried away. (shrug) Maybe one thing I could have done was break it up into sections, with action happening elsewhere at the same time, such as Zu and DJ with the kidnappers or something. Sorry you didn't like it, though.
@ Guodzilla

It's not that I 'didn't like it', but I just thought the (first..?) ten pages were pretty, eh... long to read (If I'm saying it correctly, I'm Dutch).
Ik vergat te zeggen iets: Hallo! (Laffs)
;-)
Yeah, ehm, Google Translate (or whatever you used) has failed. Miserably.
(Sigh) Yeah, I figured . . . Sorry about that; I won't try it again. RC helps me out with Swedish, though.
Guodzilla wrote:
Trollface wrote:
Guodzilla wrote:
Trollface wrote:
To be honest, I didn't like this part.
I mean, 10 pages of rape!?
I guess you meant the nightmare/hallucination sequence . . . The first draft was very brief and pretty run-of-the-mill, and kind of boring (if you could believe that) so RC and I agreed that I should rewrite it and "Beef it up" a little more. What I've been trying hardest to do is avoid cliche' and overdone sex scenes. If you remember the Nikki/Justin sex scene, THAT one was once MUCH bigger (about the same length: 10 pages), but it was a lot of the "same-old, same-old" kind of sex scenes (even though it was straight-shota) that you would find elsewhere (RC and I agreed that it read kind of like a Hentai Manga. Not that that was essentially a BAD thing, it's just that it was unoriginal) and really made the story drag even more than the nightmare scene.
I guess I was trying to go more of a "Lovecraftian" route with it and got carried away. (shrug) Maybe one thing I could have done was break it up into sections, with action happening elsewhere at the same time, such as Zu and DJ with the kidnappers or something. Sorry you didn't like it, though.
@ Guodzilla

It's not that I 'didn't like it', but I just thought the (first..?) ten pages were pretty, eh... long to read (If I'm saying it correctly, I'm Dutch).
Ik vergat te zeggen iets: Hallo! (Laffs)
;-)
Yeah, ehm, Google Translate (or whatever you used) has failed. Miserably.
Trollface wrote:
Guodzilla wrote:
Trollface wrote:
To be honest, I didn't like this part.
I mean, 10 pages of rape!?
I guess you meant the nightmare/hallucination sequence . . . The first draft was very brief and pretty run-of-the-mill, and kind of boring (if you could believe that) so RC and I agreed that I should rewrite it and "Beef it up" a little more. What I've been trying hardest to do is avoid cliche' and overdone sex scenes. If you remember the Nikki/Justin sex scene, THAT one was once MUCH bigger (about the same length: 10 pages), but it was a lot of the "same-old, same-old" kind of sex scenes (even though it was straight-shota) that you would find elsewhere (RC and I agreed that it read kind of like a Hentai Manga. Not that that was essentially a BAD thing, it's just that it was unoriginal) and really made the story drag even more than the nightmare scene.
I guess I was trying to go more of a "Lovecraftian" route with it and got carried away. (shrug) Maybe one thing I could have done was break it up into sections, with action happening elsewhere at the same time, such as Zu and DJ with the kidnappers or something. Sorry you didn't like it, though.
@ Guodzilla

It's not that I 'didn't like it', but I just thought the (first..?) ten pages were pretty, eh... long to read (If I'm saying it correctly, I'm Dutch).
Ik vergat te zeggen iets: Hallo! (Laffs)
;-)
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Pictures: EAZGL Part 4