Comment #705
Anonymous
705
News
32
2010-08-27 18:05:58
Needs more detail. From a first-person perspective (maybe switching points of view) you have more opportunity to describe what something feels like. Going into VERY intricate detail is one of the most important things in writing, especially erotica. And I find it odd that Za doesn't give a fuck that Zu, Ellie, and Zoo were raped.