Guodzilla

Fan Art

2011-07-01 16:59:24

I guess you meant the nightmare/hallucination sequence . . . The first draft was very brief and pretty run-of-the-mill, and kind of boring (if you could believe that) so RC and I agreed that I should rewrite it and "Beef it up" a little more. What I've been trying hardest to do is avoid cliche' and overdone sex scenes. If you remember the Nikki/Justin sex scene, THAT one was once MUCH bigger (about the same length: 10 pages), but it was a lot of the "same-old, same-old" kind of sex scenes (even though it was straight-shota) that you would find elsewhere (RC and I agreed that it read kind of like a Hentai Manga. Not that that was essentially a BAD thing, it's just that it was unoriginal) and really made the story drag even more than the nightmare scene. I guess I was trying to go more of a "Lovecraftian" route with it and got carried away. (shrug) Maybe one thing I could have done was break it up into sections, with action happening elsewhere at the same time, such as Zu and DJ with the kidnappers or something. Sorry you didn't like it, though.